Manifesting my Desire

For about a year I’ve been quietly searching for a small company to work with applying my business skills. Not consult, not freelance, but be hired.

I’m involved in some hella cool projects.

Like RevolutionK.org and AThousandThingsToTalkAbout.com to name a few. I’ve been leading group online programs, mentoring people in designing their life and connecting cool people through ChoiceDriven.Life  I’m documenting my nomadic life and my newest adventure toward fostering teens. I’m having a blast, I feel like I’m on Purpose and being used up in all the right ways!  I want to play with these things and enjoy them, I don’t want to have my financial needs influence what or who I charge inside of this sort of play. I also don’t want to invest any more time hustling for my next freelance gig, I’d rather invest that time playing.

So, I’ve been searching for the perfect job.

I had very specific criteria like it will be part-time, remote, and my employer will be focused on a mission I can align with. It will not take over my life, I will still have time for all my hella cool projects. It will use the full range of my business skills without draining me energetically.

I started off researching companies I was attracted to, whose missions I admired, and sending my resume to only those companies. It was fun, finding passionate companies and explaining how I could help them have an impact by simply being me.

After about 8 months, having had no interviews, no bites, being told a bachelors is required, that they wanted a ‘fresh perspective’ or that I was ‘overqualified’ I got frustrated and forgot about my dream job and my criteria.I also redid my resume to look ‘younger’ and started searching job boards, applying to most any job that was remote and part time. None of this felt fun, or authentic. It was driven by fear (what if my lack of degree is finally catching up with me) and scarcity (what if there aren’t enough jobs).

I strive to operate from creation and design (antiSurvival mode), not fear and scarcity (Survival mode).

So I took a break from the hunt and re-aligned with my Intention for 2017 which was to Discern my Desires. I went back to my commitment and Purpose, narrowing my search to only those that satisfied my Desires. I created a resume I was proud of and only applied for organizations that I could confirm fit my criteria.

Then, earlier this month, I discovered that I needed the stability of a job to begin down the path to foster and that really ignited my fire.

I’m sure you guessed it – it all paid off!

A week after the foster info session I found an opening with a yoga institute out of California. Today was my first day as their Business Manager. It’s remote, part-time and the entire team is super committed to their mission which I totally align with. Even their sales philosophy mirrors my own which is contrary to industry standards. I’ll be using a wide breadth of my business background with full flexibility in schedule. It’s exactly what I was asking for!

I’m beyond stoked to play with this new team AND have the freedom to keep playing with all of my hella cool projects including having the bandwidth to foster when the time comes.

This sort of patience and commitment to my own desires – this is not typical of me. It really is a reflection of the growth and evolution I’ve experienced and a manifestation of my Intention for 2017. So I’m taking my own advice and CELEBRATING this win!

Foster Roadmap

I’ve been mentoring foster kids for about 5 years. I’m no stranger to the system. However, I’m also far from an expert.

Since I felt the call to pivot and focus on this new Adventure of fostering I’ve been looking to reacquaint myself with the system and begin to understand what the roadmap looks like. How are we going to go from life partners who travel constantly to parents?

Kirk and I have been navigating the relationship side of this and have a solid plan. We’re saving for a house and planning to move in together this summer.

What hasn’t been clear is what exactly the government is going to look for as evidence of our stability to qualify.

That was cleared up this weekend! My church happened to host a foster info session and there were experts there that answered most of my questions. I discovered that much of what I thought I knew is outdated and/or rumors. So it was great to get solid info.

Turns out we’re on the right track in most areas.

They look for stability in our relationship as a couple, stable income sufficient to support a kid (the government offers some financial support but it’s given after the fact as a reimbursement), legal history, emotional stability and a stable support system.

Co-habitating will show the stability of our relationship and some time in one city (vs nomading) will help too. We both have clean records and have done a lot of self-development work on our emotional stability. My family is a killer support system and we have tons of friends in Orlando which is why we’re here. Mostly in good shape!

However.

I need to get some steady, reliable income.

Self-employment is okay in theory, but they’d be looking for stable income over time which I haven’t had, especially since I’ve played so heavily with bartering. I suspected this may be the case so I’ve been searching for a remote part-time job for a while. Like a year. Now that I have confirmation that the job could make the difference in my ability to foster has lit a fire – I’m off to research and find the perfect job that I know is just waiting for me. Wish me luck!

Spring Clean your Social

Social-cleaning https://www.candyboxmarketing.com/

March 20, 2018 is the first official day of Spring!

If you’ve followed my Planet driven Planning advice you’re looking to cleanse your space right about now. Given how technology focused our culture has become, I suggest you include your digital space in your spring cleaning efforts. Social media has a big impact on your world, Americans spend an average of 2 hours per day on social media.

Social media is a big echo chamber. The more you engage with a topic the more you see of it. This means that you can very intentionally curate your social media feed by using some strategic thinking. I suggest you start by cleaning house.

Step 1 : Minimize the Negativity

Unfollow people who were always posting dramatic or negative things.

On Twitter and Instagram there is a ‘follow back’ mentality, however, just because someone likes what you have to say, doesn’t mean you like what they’re saying.

On Facebook you can ‘unfollow’ without ‘unfriending’ which is often all you need to do to clean up your own house.

For me this included most political/news related things as well as some ‘comedy’ groups. I should say here, I didn’t eliminate people just because they honestly posted about something they were dealing with in life. I eliminated people who use social media as a soapbox, or as a place to perpetually vent, or to stir the political pot etc.

There are apps that will help with this, like Social Fixer. I find power in curating it myself, but this could be a great solution for you! I encourage you to complete the rest of these steps too.

kid-presidentStep 2: Increase the Positivity

This was the really fun part. I searched for pages, groups and people who focus on positive and uplifting things, I’ll share a list at the end of this post of my favorites.

It’s amazing how the breadcrumbs unfold before you as you start following the trails of positive, cool stuff out there. It may take some time to uncover where you can find positivity that is also productive…kittens and puppies make me smile but I don’t need my social media feed to be just that.

Step 3: Consider My Contribution

What do you share and post? Are you someone that others would have to unfollow in going through this same exercise? Are you contributing to the downward spiral?

To ensure the answer was No I made a few commitments:

  • Allow my social media posts to accurately represent my life (post about the good and the bad)
  • Ensure that my posts always forward a conversation
  • Take ownership for my experience and attempt to forward and spread the positive things in the world

Keep in mind, I use social media as a business tool and I’m a personality brand. So your commitments may be different than mine.

Step 4: Maintenance

I schedule time to review my social media weekly. This could be monthly or even every 3-4 months for you.

On Facebook, I rarely accept a Friend Request if we don’t have at least one friend in common. As soon as I accept I immediately add them to the ‘Acquaintances’ List under ‘Friends’. I also immediately look at their feed to decide if I want to Unfollow them or not (the default on Facebook is to Follow a new Friend). I have a few additional lists I maintain that I might also add them to in order to help me remember the context for our connection later.

On Twitter and Instagram I look at who has followed me and decide if I want to ‘follow back’ or engage them. As for LinkedIn, I only accept people I know or who I have 3+ connections in common with.

The last thing I do across the board is send them the following message:

Hello there! Thanks for connecting with me! Let’s avoid the click and forget ‘friendship’. Here’s a short video I made to help us get to know each other. I can’t wait to hear back from you about *your* passion!

Once a week I (or my VA) look through my sent messages and anyone who hasn’t responded to my welcome note get’s a follow up and eventually removed if they don’t reply, because I only want to connect with people who genuinely want to connect.

I also take time every year to go through all of my connections and comment on something recent. If I can’t find anything I wan to comment on, I consider unfriending/unfollowing them.

That’s it.

I won’t lie and say this was a super fast task to achieve. It took several hours over the course of a few weeks to accomplish. And it was totally worth it.

Now my feeds make me happy, constantly inspires, educate and mine are truly ways for people to have a window into my real life.

self-controlHere’s the thing, you can curate your experience of life just like social media. As I worked on my social media I also looked at my life and did some clean up there. I stopped hanging out with some negative people, I changed the music I listened to, and in my case I eventually switched jobs, leaving the corporate world. I know it may sound extreme, but these things really were kick-started by me setting some boundaries around social media.

If there are influences in your life or your business that aren’t serving you, remove them. If you have a vendor that isn’t delivering what they committed to, talk to them. If you have a friend who is consistently draining you, talk to them.

It’s easy to become passive about life and our experiences in it, don’t forget you control your world. It’s possible that social media is the best place to start, it was for me.

If you’d like to follow me on social media here’s how:

Here are some of my favorite uplifting groups to follow on social media:

re-Viewing my Childhood

As I slowly pivot into this new Adventure of foster parenting I’m astounded by the little ways the Universe is supporting me.

By definition, as a nomad, I don’t have a home of my own to return to so my parents offered for me to stay with them until I figure it all out.

I am beyond grateful for my parents*. One of the things I’m really proud of is how we have managed to navigate the tricky terrain of shifting out of the parent/child dynamic into acknowledging each other as adults. They’re still my parents, I respect and honor them. And they relate to me both as their baby and an adult who’s choices they respect and support. We enjoy each other, we are friends.

While I’ve had extended visits in my parents home, this is the first time since I was a teenager that I have moved back in with my parents, full time, longterm. I’ll be here for at least 3 months.

A lot has changed in 20 years.

I no longer have a bedtime, get yelled at for not cleaning my room, I don’t have chores or a curfew. 🙂 I’ve treated the arrangement the same as I have all of my barter for lodging arrangements over the past few years. We agreed on how I’d pull my own weight, boundaries, communication. So far it’s all been great and logistically, all is well.

But it’s still weird.

There are remnants of my childhood everywhere.

Like the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning :

This box contains cabbage patch dolls and the diaper bag

Or this spot on the wall of the guest room I’m sleeping in which was once the room my brother and I shared as toddlers.

The growth chart – marks of our height over the years.

My high school senior photo is on the living room wall.

A 16 year old me.

The house has been remodeled, but there are still remnants of the house I grew up in.

Notice the total retro flashback, wallpaper included.
That wood panelling used to be on all the walls.

My old bedroom is now Mom’s office, when I go into the closet for office supplies I see boxes of my childhood toys, the Survival Skills for Kids books I read and claimed qualified me to babysit at age 11 (it worked too!).

The organized memories

Given that I am pivoting my life and preparing for this new Adventure of foster parenting, it feels appropriate to return to my roots, to be surrounded by vestiges of my own childhood. What’s interesting is what has come up emotionally.

I expected to have some feelings about the physical surroundings and throwbacks.

What I didn’t expect was the impact of living under my parent’s roof when they are different people than they were when I was a kid.

Now, I’ve already said, we’ve grown, we’ve shifted, I’m well aware of all of this, proud of it even. And yet, some part of me, my inner child, was somehow expecting the mood and vibe to be similar to when I was a kid. And it’s not. And that’s weird and awesome.

Let me explain.

I inherited my own Bipolar Disorder from Dad’s side of the family. When I was a kid they hadn’t found the right medication balance for him so we had to tiptoe a bit because he had two modes, content or rage. Because of this, some part of me expected to still be tiptoeing around Dad’s mood swings, for Mom to accommodate Dad out of a desire to keep the peace.

However, much has changed.

In the first couple weeks of living with them, my Mom became annoyed at something my Dad did. And she told him about it, bluntly. I physically flinched and mentally judged her for poking the bear. I gathered my computer and retreated to my room in anticipation of Dad’s explosive temper.

Now. I have years of evidence that this is no longer how he operates. Dad has evolved and there are better medications and he’s much, much more balanced. Mom has evolved too and no longer accommodates him when he does swing. I know this.

But being back in their home, surrounded by physical reminders of times past, I somehow reverted to old habits and reactions. I didn’t even realize I did this until later.

This reaction in and of itself was fascinating to notice. To realize that some part of me is still dealing with some childhood traumas.

But wait, there’s more.

After I retreated to my room, what followed was something small and yet transformational for my inner child. I could overhear my parents bicker, work through it, find a solution and move on. No explosions, no tension in the house. Just healthy, adult conversation.

This experience was incredibly moving for me. It brought tears to my eyes. I’m tearing up again as I write this and I’ve been searching, seeking to describe the emotions that inspired my tears.

What I’ve come to realize is that even though I’ve developed a healthy friendship with my parents, part of me still worried about them and the way I handle conflict as an adult is heavily influenced by the patterns of conflict in my parent’s house when I was a child.  There was something incredibly healing about being given that private window into their growth and evolution that somehow freed me up. It inspired me.

My Parents in the 70’s

My parents have been married for 45 years. They were married for nearly a decade before I was born, prior to me they fostered boys. The parents those boys experienced were different from the parents I experienced because my parents were different people. My Platonic Wife has siblings 20 years younger than her, her baby sister is being raised by a different set of parents than she was because her parents have changed and evolved as people which impacts how they parent.

Living with my parents again, even with our healthy adult oriented relationship, has given me the experience of being parented by a whole new set of parents. Twenty years, empty nest, new medications, retirement – so many factors have changed.

My parents present day

As a child, my mom was around. All. The. Time. She homeschooled us and we spent a ton of time with her. Dad worked long hours to support the family so Mom could stay home which left Mom without much of a life outside of the family. Now, twenty years later, she has a very full life – she’s gone most of the time. Dad is retired and while he volunteers a lot, he’s home most of the time. This is a complete 180 from my childhood. I have spent more time alone with my dad in the past 6 weeks than in my entire life previous. No exaggeration.

As a kid, I used to wish that Dad would come home and play with us, ask us about school, be involved. But he was exhausted and only had the energy to eat and go to sleep. My adult self completely understands this, but my kid self, she felt a huge missing from my Dad. Now, every day, Dad asks me what I’m up to, tells me about his day, reminds me to take an umbrella or avoid rush hour. It’s such a 180 that, on the occasions when he interrupts a client call or my train of though, I have to remind myself not to be annoyed by how involved he wants to be, it’s literally all I wanted as a kid and here I am, receiving it as an adult.

Me with my Parents in Denver in 2017.

I’ve gotten to see them through a different lens, to be reminded of how much they’ve grown. As humans, as parents, as partners who have been married and done life together for 45 years of ups and downs. It’s been healing for me to revisit some of my childhood ghosts and re-view them through adult my adult perspective. I’ve found that even though I’m adult, I’m still their child and experiencing the parents they are today was exactly what I needed.

Like I said, the Universe has my back and conspires to put me where I need to be. I’ve found another layer of healing from my childhood traumas, an inspiration of how I want to parent and a renewed closeness to my parents as my Parents.

*I feel it important to say here, the trauma that was triggered from my childhood – it’s nothing special or unique and no reflection on my parents. Every child has experienced something that registered as traumatic to them. No parent can prevent this. Its part of childhood, its part of the human experience. In no way do I mean to imply that my parents weren’t good parents, I am so glad I chose them and would do it again.

The Newest Adventure

Adventure can describe a lot of different scenarios.

For a long time, the Adventures of Sunni involved me honing my intellect and leapfrogging my way up the corporate ladder.

For the past three years, Adventure has involved me living a nomadic lifestyle, living out of my suitcase traveling around the world.

For the past 6 months, Adventure has involved me wandering around the US on an endless road trip.

Now, it’s time to embark on a new type of Adventure – creating a family.

I have returned to my childhood home, while I will always be a traveler my nomading days are behind me. My new Adventure is focused on becoming a foster parent to teenagers. This is no small task. The system looks for stability in foster parents and a nomadic lifestyle is not that. So I will spend the next 18 months returning to a more traditional lifestyle, mentoring foster kids, completing classes and generally proving my ability to be stable and become responsible for kids.

I have wanted to foster for as long as I can remember. Specifically teens as they are an often neglected demographic and I really enjoy them. I’ve been mentoring teens as they age out of foster care for about 5 years and I’m ready to go deeper, get closer and work with them younger.

Lately, much of my time has been invested in creating online group programs and working with folks 1:1 as an Intuitive Strategist. I guide my clients in designing a life they love through the practical application of spiritual principles. It has been so fulfilling and rewarding to see adults discover their own power and really define their own path through life. I am  eager to take this to the next level in working with teens.

An element of this new Adventure that is really exciting for me is that I’m not alone. Kirk is very much onboard and we are in this together, we are ready to start a family together, in our own way. I’m grateful for his partnership as patience is going to be needed and that is something he excels at far more than I. Not only in working with the kids but in the steps required to get us to that point, groundwork must be laid and of course, I want it now! 🙂

I’ll share more about the experience of shifting modes and entering the system to foster as things unfold.

Choosing my Reality in Romance

He pulls up in a shiny, freshly detailed car. He’s wearing a suit and has brought me a cheesy prom style collage for my wrist. I am all dressed up too and I have no idea where we’re going. He takes me to an amazing restaurant and then to do a perfect, romantic activity. At the exact right moment, he begins a beautiful speech about how much I mean to him, how much he values our relationship and presents me with a stunning necklace charm as a symbol of his love that I can carry with me always…..

This is the daydream I’ve secretly had for years. My Partner and I have been together for years and he’s never taken me out on a romantic date or really done anything that counts (in my mind) as a grand romantic gesture.

This had been bothering me. I like romance. I’ve done many such date nights for him. I’d been starting to worry, can we learn speak the same love language? Does a life with him mean a life void of romantic moments?

But then I reminded myself, I choose this person.

Sigh.

Okay. So I choose him, which means choosing all of him, including his style of creating romance. I remembered the concept that what you think is what you see. So. I set my daydream aside and I began looking for things, noticing when his actions are romantic even if it’s not that of my daydream. 

I found the following examples, just in the past couple of months:

We were snuggled in the sun, reading, my head on his shoulder, my book on his chest. The wind kept catching my page and trying to turn it, before I could react his thumb slipped into place, holding my page in place until I was ready to turn it. He sat like that for an hour.

It was super cold out, I needed gas, he got out, pumped the gas for me and cleaned my windshields.

In Denver, I found an almond based creamer that was oh so yummy. I haven’t been able to find it since. Every food store he enters he checks the creamer section and sends me photos in hopes that he can find it for me again.

On his way into a restaurant, he noticed a guy struggling, alone in the rain to get a wheelchair out of a van. He stopped and helped him.

His place has a super big bathtub which I filled with steaming bubbles and settled in with my book for a good soak. Half an hour later I went to add more hot water only to discover only cold water left. Suddenly, the shower curtain opened a few inches and in came his arms with a pot of boiling water to add to my bath. He suspected I’d run out of water and had put the pot on to boil when I got in the tub.

He works at a church so we rarely get to attend a spiritual service together. Christmas is my favorite time of year. He worked it out so that he could go to Christmas and New Year’s Eve services with me.

We’ve been talking, abstractly, about buying a house so we can fill it with teenaged foster kids. I was mildly worried it was more my dream than ours. When we finally sat down to talk about it more seriously I discovered that he’s been working with a credit expert to raise his credit score and has already started a house savings fund.

He always gets editorial rights when I write about him. A week after I showed him the draft of this article, he showed up for a date night in a shiny clean car with a rose fulfilling on pieces of my daydream above.

The list goes on and on.

There are heaps and piles of evidence that he is committed to being my partner in life. He shows me in small ways every single day that he prioritizes our relationship.

What I realized recently is that my priority is having a life partner who is present, in it and committed to making an amazing life with me. My daydreams are not directly related to that. So I’ll stop having that daydream, it’s not forwarding anything for me or for Us.

In all areas of life, the juice always comes from knowing what your priorities are and consistently aligning your expectations, actions and focus to that priority. So, perhaps grand romantic gestures are more my thing to execute. Maybe I’ll have to do a little work to build a muscle around consistently noticing all of his small, thoughtful gestures. But this is all part of choosing him, of choosing Us.

I know I’m not the only one living a life driven by choice. So I’ve started a community of people who currently are (or are striving to) live life in this manner. Join us on Facebook at Choice Driven Life.

Us

5 Indicators Your Intuition is Evolving

Intuitive Strategy

For someone who is a Type A personality, faith, trust, and intuition can be really challenging concepts to wrap your mind around.

I am an Intuitive Strategist. My specialty is seeing the big picture, taking it all into account and identifying a path to get a result. All very left-brained, ego-based logical activities. I believe effective strategy also requires the use of intuition which is a right-brained, soul-based activity.

Being in touch with your intuition requires being in touch with your higher Self and knowing how to listen.

We go through phases and cycles where our intuitive abilities are tested, increased and fine-tuned. These phases of growth can be exhausting and confusing, especially if you’re a Type A personality, used to planning, figuring it out, doing it right, perhaps a perfectionist or a bit of a control freak.

Acknowledging that you’re in it is the first step to seeing a path through it.

Here are 5 indicators for Type A people that you’re in a growth cycle for your intuition.

    1. Feeling lost. We are conditioned to plan our lives, where are you going to college, when will you buy a house, etc etc. Being in touch with your intuition requires that you be present in this moment, here and now. As you focus less on planning and working things out and more on the present moment you will likely find yourself feeling lost. You’re not lost, by the way, you’re just shifting your perspective and priorities. However, feeling lost is to be expected when you begin to give up the reigns of control and trust your intuition.
  1. Feeling dumber. The more you connect to your intuition the more you’re engaging the right brain, your creative center. This means that you’ve less energy allocated for left-brained, logical functions. If you’re typically a logical thinker this can feel as if you’re getting dumber when in reality you’re developing a whole new type of intelligence in your intuition.
  2. Feeling lonely. As you tune into your Self it’s natural to want to tune others out. This could mean that you adjust your social circles or habits shying away from negative people and influences. It could also mean that you find yourself wanting to spend more time alone. On some level, you realize that you’re making these choices, but it can still leave you feeling very lonely since you don’t have the social stimulus around you that you’re used to. The best way to get to know someone is to spend time with them, it makes sense that you need to spend time with yourself and/or a select group of people in order to get to know yourself and your intuition better. It can also feel lonely because intuition, spirituality, these aren’t things that most people talk about regularly. Finding a mentor, community or even friend who you can verbally process your growth with may help.
  3. Feeling uncertain. Being in the present means that you’re not thinking about the future. For someone used to having goals, planning and (maybe) controlling most areas of life, being in the present can, at first, create an overwhelming sense of uncertainty. The reality is, life is uncertain and the more you can embrace the moment the more in touch you can be with your intuition. It does take a period of being uncomfortable to embrace this. Most of the juicy moments in life happen at the edge of your comfort zone.
  4. Feeling arrogant. As you step into the present moment and trust your intuition you will also start to realize that you are responsible for designing the world around you, your success and happiness. You realize that your thoughts and words make a profound difference in your experience of life. This is a powerful realization, and as you start to orchestrate your own life others around you who haven’t yet reached this level of awareness or connection to their own intuition will notice this shift in power around you. It is easy to mistake this new found power for arrogance. It is not arrogant, however, to believe and live as though you control your own world.

Notice that these are all feelings, which are not real, they’re one perception. You are not actually arrogant, alone, dumb or lost – it simply feels like you are.

If reading this and you can relate, you’re realizing that you’re in it. Here is some advice from one Type A to another on finding a path through it – you might not like it….

Let Go.

I know, I might as well tell an elephant to hide in a field of grass. But it really is that simple.

It is far easier to set a clear vision, make effective goals and generally design your world when you are in touch with your intuition. When you are crystal clear on when it’s intuition vs fear or ego you can quickly and easily make decisions and follow through.

If you’re not in a phase of increasing your intuition and you wish you were – ask for it.

Just be careful what you ask for…

I believe that you already have everything you need, you are already fully capable. Yet, sometimes it’s useful to have a mentor, someone to guide and offer outside perspective as you move through this cycle of growth and evolution. I love doing this for others and would be honored to discuss if it’s a fit for us to play together.

Planet Driven Planning

There is strange sort of vibe in the air this time of year, isn’t there?

There is a sort of calm after the storm effect as we get back to ‘normal’ from the hubbub of the holidays.  Which is probably why I always get this song stuck in my head this time of year.

For some, this return to reality is a relief as the chaos of the holidays is draining for them. For others, it’s difficult to slow the pace after the emotional rush of the holidays leading to a lull.

Culturally January is a time for resolutions, for starting new things.

75% of people set a new year’s resolution. The top three resolutions are some variation of ‘get healthy’ accounting for over 50% of resolutions. Over 92% of new year’s resolutions are abandoned by March.

In January all of the ads are geared toward ‘New Year, New You’. In the entrepreneurial and business circles everyone is talking about annual planning and setting their goals for the coming year.

I am ALL about goals. I LOVE planning things. If you’ve ever heard me talk about goals, planning or strategy you know I’m likely understating just how much I love these things.

However, I think the reason resolutions fail has nothing to do with goals or planning. I think it has to do with your Intention and timing. December 21, 2017 was the first day of Winter meaning January, the first month of the year, is also Winter.

Energetically winter is a time for hibernation. It’s cold. It’s a time for introspection. In the autumn we shed our leaves (ideas, accomplishments) and in winter we gather and conserve energy so that come spring we can sprout new seeds, ideas, projects.

This juxtaposition of the culture and the seasons can lead to a strange vibe.

Consider aligning to the energetic pull of our planet this year and consider the seasons in your goal setting and planning.

Follow your own intuition and guidance on where to focus as each season unfolds. To get you started, here are my recommendations.


The Winter months (Jan – March) are most effectively spent in introspection. The energy is moving very slowly, this time is ideal for hibernating, for getting your house in order. Ideal activities this time of year are:

  • Journaling
  • Self Development work
  • Budget/Expenses review (gets you prepped for tax season too)
  • Baby steps in establishing new healthy habits
  • Clarify your priorities
  • If you own a business this is a great time to:
    • Capture testimonials
    • Review and refine internal processes
    • Maintain existing relationships

The Spring months (April – June) are ideal for creation. This is when things are starting to bloom and blossom, energy is starting to speed up making this a great time to start new things. Here are ideal activities cleansing:

  • Cleanse your space based on your new priorities
  • Brainstorm new ideas
  • Start a new wellness plan
  • Set goals and make plans
  • If you own a business:
    • Networking, list build, make new contacts
    • Launch a new product
    • Hire new resources

The Summer months (July – Sept) are ideal for execution. This is when energy has momentum and when things are most stable.

  • Execute projects
  • Focus on sustaining habits
  • Nurture relationships
  • Enjoy nature
  • If you own a business focus on:
    • Consistency in tracking goals and progress
    • Executing big projects and campaigns
    • Preparing internally for the success to come

The Autumn months (Oct – Dec) are often the juiciest as this is when the harvest happens. Energy has mature and we see the fruits of our labors.

  • The last push to get your goals met (before Winter energy sets in)
  • Notice where your hard work is paying off
  • Enjoy the results of your hard work
  • Prepare energetically for the holidays and the Winter hibernation period
  • If you own a business focus on:
    • Meeting your sales goals
    • Processing all of the new business and sales you’re getting as a result of your Summer work
    • Preparation for the slow Winter months

I know, there are a million outside influences that don’t always make it possible to align to the seasons. And, our planet has a big impact on our lives.

There are other earth-based cycles that may call to you as well. I’ve realized massive benefits from aligning to the lunar cycle. I have a client who swears that different times of the day carry different energy for them.

The key is to notice, to play with it and to take the natural cycles around you into account. Try aligning to the planet, even just a little bit, and see what that shift creates in your headspace and your results over the coming year.

Using White Privilege

My Guy, my Life Partner is black. My Girl, my Platonic Wife, she’s half black. I look like the quintessential Arian with my blond hair, blue eyes and high cheekbones.

What used to strike me as odd is that racism is a dominant conversation and point of interest for me – far more than it is for my partners who are both people of color. Why is this?

Because racism is something they’ve always lived with. It’s a fact of life.

I grew up in a white family, in a white neighborhood with mostly white friends. Homeschooling was a beautiful experience but it meant that I didn’t get to socialize with many people of color and my education on racism, slavery etc was from the limited worldview of my rather sheltered mom.

8 years ago my mom and I found ourselves in a little independent study on racism. This was initially instigated by us reading The Help together (long before Oprah, Emma Stone or Viola Davis discovered it). Judge if you want, but I’ll take perspective shifts wherever I can find them, including cute stories. Mom and I then read historical accounts of the civil rights movement, watched any documentary we could get our hands on, eventually taking a road trip through Memphis and Mississippi to experience some of the significant locations for ourselves.

Since then I have slowly, consistently explored the topic of racism, white privilege and what I can do to help ensure the civil rights movement lives on. And it makes sense that this conversation is louder for me than for my partners of color, because it’s newer for me than for them. Because I am on the outside, whereas they’ve been forced to be on the inside their whole lives.

Okay. So, I know I experience privilege as a white woman.

I desperately want to understand as much as I can and be an ally to people of color. Yet I’ve often been left wondering, how? And often people of color respond with, it’s not my job to teach you.

Fair enough. And. How do I learn?

This has left me to listen, a lot, to things around me, to podcasts, to books. I read a lot. I ask lots of questions and really listen to the answers. I took a road trip and spent several months of my life exploring different cultures and perspectives around racism, sexism, and politics.

Over time I will share what I learned on my road trip and about my experiences and fun stories. For now though, there is a lot swirling in my head and heart about racism and consent.

I want to share with you a series of articles written by Layla Saad. I truly appreciate that she, a woman of color, took the time to write this series. I can’t actually articulate the gratitude I feel toward her for this.

I challenge all of my white friends to read this. BUT.

Read them when you have time to really read them. Read them with an open mind, with the mindset of being open to understanding the author’s perspective as *her* truth. It may not be your truth, but that doesn’t change how true it is for her. Read them looking to be educated and gain access to a different perspective.

I don’t care who you voted for or how you identify politically. The point of this series is not to change your political leanings or to convince you to believe differently. Rather the series is a beautiful opportunity to gain access to someone else’s worldview.

I need to talk to Spiritual White Women about white supremacy – Part 1

I need to talk to Spiritual White Women about white supremacy – Part 2

At the end of Part 2 Layla offers a fantastic list of resources that I am still slowly working my way through.

As a human, I want to know that I’m doing everything I can to be sure that all humans feel respected, loved and safe. I want to live in a world where the diversity of my family is something to celebrate rather than something to hide or be afraid of.

As a white woman, I want to be sure that I use this privilege I haven’t earned to do as much good as possible. Usually through tiny little actions – like sharing this article series with my dominantly white followers in hopes of widening your perspective just a tad more.

I would love to know what you think, we can discuss in the comments here or privately via email.